Kenneth Hall All mourners to follow the coffin and main mourners in to the Muntham Chapel, Worthing Crematorium. Music on entering: ‘Marble Halls’ by Enya. Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome to the Celebration of Life Ceremony for Ken Hall. I am Colette Harber; a funeral celebrant and today it is my privilege to be conducting this ceremony on behalf of Ken’s family; for his beloved wife June, his eldest daughter, Sharron, for his son, Colin, for his youngest daughter, Rachel and, their own families. We are here to celebrate Ken’s life and I am sure that you are all aware that a fine gentle man has been lost to us. For each of us, life is a journey; it is a journey in time. Our birth is the beginning of that journey and it is important to believe that death is not the end, but merely the destination. Death, in a number of ways, unites us all, for it demands that each of us puts aside our toil, our business and our pleasures to unite ourselves with everyone here; fellow mourners, sharing a common bond of love and respect for Ken. We grieve today with the thoughts of Ken foremost in our minds. His passing has brought great sorrow to his family particularly as the ties of love were very strong. But while we think of Ken’s passing with sadness and regret, we will recall his life with respect and happiness. You see, nothing can detract from the happiness and closeness you shared with him. Nothing can affect the happiness and joy of life that Ken knew. And nothing can alter your love for him and, equally so, his love for you. I would like to offer this message of comfort and consolation, to try to soften the grief for those who are hurting the most: You can shed tears that Ken is gone, or, you can smile because he has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back, or, you can open your eyes and see all that Ken has left. Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him, or, you can be full of the love you have shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live for yesterday, or, you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember him and only that he’s gone, or, you can cherish Ken’s memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back, or, you can do what Ken would want; Smile, open your eyes, love and go on. -------------------------- Kenneth was born in Penrith, Cumbria, on 9 May 1931, to Norman and Mary Hall. He was the middle child of three children. He had an elder sister Nora and a younger sister Betty. He was a very bright boy and passed his 11 plus exam and attended the Queen Elizabeth Grammar School in Penrith. Whilst he was academically very bright, he also enjoyed sports, especially rugby. On leaving school he went to work for British Rail and in the late 1940’s he was called up to do his National Service in the Royal Air Force. Unfortunately, when he went through the compulsory medical, the RAF doctors found that he had a perforated eardrum and to Ken’s great dismay, he was medically discharged. So, sadly, Ken did not get to travel the world with his pals who had joined up with him. And, neither did he return to British Rail, he had had enough of that work and, as there was very little other types of work in the Lake District; he decided to seek his fortune elsewhere. Kenneth went to live with his sister in Surrey and he found work as a trainee accountant at the Goblin Vacuum Cleaner factory near Leatherhead. Also working at the factory was June ???; a 16 year old young lady, who was in her first job. She was the office junior in the same office as Ken. Over time they got to know one another and their relationship blossomed. But, when the Officer Manager discovered this, June was moved into the Hire Purchase Department. In those days, businesses were very strict when it came to relationships between staff members – no ‘hanky-panky’ in the work-place was allowed at all. Ken was a very good looking, likeable young man but, he was not known for being the great romantic. June recalled that while they were courting, he only ever once bought her flowers on Valentine’s Day. Ken and June married on 26 December 1953, (Boxing Day), in Ashtead, Surrey. They set up their first home in Leatherhead. To Ken and June’s delight, their eldest daughter Sharron was born in 1957. And, six months later they were given a new council house with a garden, so the family moved back to Ashtead. In 1959, Ken and June were blessed with the birth of their only son Colin and in 1966; their family was complete with the arrival of their youngest daughter Rachel. All this time Ken continued to work for the Goblin Vacuum Cleaner Company whilst June was stayed at home raising the children. With three boisterous growing children to feed and clothe, occasionally Ken would take on extra work at the weekends such as gardening for local people. Sharron, Colin and Rachel recall that, their father’s shed was his ‘pride and joy’; it was always neat and tidy with a place for everything and everything in its own place. As a young child, Sharron told me that she used to be allowed to go inside the shed when her father was working there. She was allowed to bang nails into a piece of wood whilst he got on with some task or other. Ken was exceptionally good at woodwork and very often made useful things for the home such as shelves or speaker stands. The finished products would invariably need to be fixed to the wall and Rachel remembers him being teased that he had drilled so many holes in the lounge walls that the house would eventually fall down! One Christmas, to Sharron’s great joy, she was given a doll’s cot and highchair which had been lovingly made by her father in his shed. He also enjoyed gardening very much and his own garden was always immaculately tidy. He particularly enjoyed the fishpond he dug in the family home in Ashtead. Sharron recalls falling into the fishpond and having to be rescued on several occasions. Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to pause for a few minutes to give you time to reflect on your own relationship with Ken. Think of things you did together, or things that he did just for you or just with you. June has chosen ‘Sweet Caroline’ by ‘Neil Diamond’ for you to listen too. Play song Thank you for listening ladies and gentlemen and I hope that you all had some lovely thoughts of Ken. I would now like to continue with Ken’s life. The weekends were special in the Hall household; they would all take long walks together with the dogs on a Saturday and Sunday. And, when the weather allowed, they might camp or go away for a holiday in their caravan. With the children growing into teenagers, Ken took the opportunity to spend quality time with each of them in turn. With Sharron, he used to take her to the pub on an occasional Sunday evening to listen to jazz music and then walking home with her arm in arm; her, thinking how lucky she was to have such a good looking Dad. With Rachel, he enjoyed watching late night television at the weekend. Her Mum would go to bed and leave the pair of them watching Hammer House of Horror films or, Tales of the Unexpected or, a good detective programme such as Morse. One weekend instead of watching the television, he took Rachel to see Jaws on the ‘big screen’ but, she was so scared, they had to leave the cinema. He also used to watch Rachel play netball at the sports field behind the Goblin factory where he worked. All her team mates were extremely envious of her having such a distinguished and good-looking Dad. Many of them did not believe that he was her Dad, as they felt that he didn’t look old enough! They thought that he looked like Blake Carrington from the TV show Dynasty. He also was a great one for telling the children ‘tall’ stories; one particular favourite was the reason why he had been discharged from the RAF. To Colin, he would say that ‘he chewed his chewing gum at the wrong time’ and to Rachel, he would say that ‘he had dropped his rifle on his foot’. But, eventually the truth came out. One day when the children were young, he had to visit the doctor and, it was discovered that he had been wrongly diagnosed by the RAF doctors. He did not have a perforated eardrum but instead, he had eczema in his ear. As the children grew older, Ken and June bought their council house and also bought a caravan. They used to take their holidays in the caravan to the New Forest and to the Steyning area. As time went by, each of the children introduced a new member to the Hall household; their sons-in-law Peter and David and their daughter-in-law, Wendy, and Julie, Tim and Kayleigh’s mother; all bringing their own personalities to the Hall dynasty. And, of course very soon, to Ken and June’s great delight, they were blessed with the patter of tiny feet in the form of eight grandchildren: Bradley, Laura, Jonathan, Kayleigh, Tim, Lois, Lexie and Rebecca; each of whom have brought a new dimension to the Hall household for Ken and June. With their children setting up homes of their own, sometimes Ken was called upon to use his woodworking skills to help with the running repairs. Sharron recalls her Dad and her husband Peter deciding to repair one of the bedroom doors in her home. Having carefully taken the door off and planing it and then re-hanging it, they both realised that between them they had planed the wrong end of the door. The only thing that they could both do was to fall about laughing until they had tears of laughter running down their faces leaving everyone downstairs wondering what was happening. Before I move on, I would like to read a tribute to Ken from his eldest grandson Bradley: As a child, I always felt very welcome and safe in Nan and Granddad’s care, whenever or wherever I was with them. When my family moved from Reading to Ashtead in 1987, Laura (my sister) and I stayed and Nan and Granddad’s house overnight whilst Mum and Dad moved everything into our new house. However, that very night was the night of the hurricane and whilst it was certainly very scary, Nan and Granddad made us feel very safe and welcome in their home. After we moved, their home in Ashtead was just around the corner from our middle school, so Laura and I could pop in regularly. Generally, Granddad was at work, but just being in the living room, kitchen or garden evoked his presence. He was always very proud of his home and garden and this showed and resonated in every part of the house – from the front drive to the very back of the back garden. In 1988 when my brother Jonathan was due to be born, Nan and Granddad took Laura and I away on holiday. We had a fantastic time in their caravan in the New Forest – it was full of fun and adventure. The intent of the holiday did not register with me as a child, but thinking about it as an adult and with obvious hindsight, the magnitude of my grandparents’ gesture of taking two boisterous children away when Mum was preparing to have another baby only really hit me when I saw my Mum holding Jonathan. I remember Granddad standing strongly behind me, encouraging me to greet the next phase of my family’s life. That holiday and the pure spirit of the gesture from my grandparents will always remain with me. We had many holidays with Nan and Granddad but that one has always remained in my memory. Granddad always loved dogs and they played a huge part in my family’s life as well. Granddad loved and cared for all dogs and indirectly taught me compassion and responsibility via caring for animals, especially our family dog, Cindy and my own dog, Otis. Granddad and I connected via the dogs and we could discuss their different characters all day long. We loved to walk the dogs together and idly chat about this and that. We did this a lot, especially when Nan and Granddad moved to Upper Beeding; walking across fields, streams and up on the Downs. From where I stood, as his eldest grandson, he was a strong, stoic individual. Someone you could learn a lot from and I know I certainly did, even if no direct teaching was involved. From the way he cared for his immediate family and the generation below them – my siblings and cousins – it seemed to me that he was just perfect. To me, he was the perfect mixture of being, ‘hands-on and strong’, when needed and, ‘gentle and welcoming’ at other times. As a male role model in our family, I feel that I could not have asked for a more caring and disciplined pair of men; my father on the hand and my grandfather on the other. I will always feel this way. Granddad, I will miss you’. Ken continued to work at the Goblin Vacuum Cleaner Company and was promoted a number of times rising to a Director of the company. However, in the late 1980’s, along with many other people at that time, Ken was made redundant and he tried to get any work that he could at the job agencies in Surrey. In his search for work and also realising that his retirement was imminent, Ken and June decided to sell their home in Ashtead; and moved to their current home in Upper Beeding some twenty years ago. On arriving in Upper Beeding, Ken decided that he would retire rather than continue to search for work. He kept himself busy and fully occupied his time with his hobbies. He continued to enjoy his gardening; he made a bridge for his new fishpond, which by the way Sharron has yet to fall into! He enjoyed listening to music, especially Neil Diamond, or watching his beloved rugby on the television and going for long walks across the Downs. He enjoyed doing crosswords, eating a brazil nut or two and drinking endless cups of tea. As has been said, Ken and June have always had dogs and, on moving to Upper Beeding, they acquired a Jack Russell called Floss from the Dogs Trust at Shoreham. Ken could very often be found walking his Golden Retriever, Amber, and Floss, around the village. Ken was a much organised man; he liked everything to be neat and tidy. As their house in Upper Beeding is adjacent to a small car park, Ken could regularly be found tidying it up for all the residents. In the last few years, and to their great delight, Ken and June moved up one more rung of the Hall hierarchy with the arrival of two great-grandchildren, Anya and Jacob. More children to play with the cherished dolls cot and highchair made all that time ago by Ken! He continued with his walks up until October last year, when his health started to deteriorate. At first, he was able to remain at home with a St Barnabas nurse helping June to look after him. But eventually he had to be admitted to St Barnabas Hospice. In drawing Ken’s life to a close, June would like you all to know that they were very happy with each other and very contented in their 59 years of marriage. Their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren have brought them great happiness. Ken passed peacefully away at St Barnabas Hospice on Tuesday 26 February 2013. Ladies and Gentlemen, before we move to the committal, I would like to allow Ken to say his farewells to you all, as I know that that his illness did not afford him the opportunity to do that. So, on his behalf, I will now read a short poem, which I am sure that Ken would have agreed with, entitled: ‘If I Should Go’ by Joyce Grenfell If I should go before the rest of you, Break not a flower, nor inscribe a stone, Nor, when I’m gone, speak in a Sunday voice, But be the usual selves that I have known. Weep, if you must: Parting is hell, But, life goes on So… sing as well!’ Ask everyone to stand Committal – turn to catafalque. Ken with enduring love and respect, we bid you farewell; you will be sadly missed by your family and by all who knew you. Close voile curtains. Ask everyone to be seated Ladies and Gentlemen, I ask that you be extremely grateful that a man as friendly and caring as Ken was part of your lives. Let him live on in your memories. And to his beloved family, who loved Ken dearly. I am sure that Ken would not want you to grieve in hurt or pain, but grieve in the joy that he has given you, that he has received from you and that he has obviously shared with you. Please allow him to be at peace, and know in your heart that he will be waiting to greet you, when it is your time to travel this way alone. On behalf of June, Sharron, Colin and Rachel, I thank you all for attending today. They would like you to join them at the Cobblestone Tea House in Cobblestone Walk, Steyning, for refreshments including, of course plenty of tea in Ken’s memory. And finally, if you are able, would you please give a donation to St Barnabas Hospice in Ken’s name. Ladies and Gentlemen, we will now listen to the final song. It’s ‘Wish Me Luck as you Wave Me Goodbye’ by ‘Gracie Fields’ Thank you for listening and I wish you all well. Play music Close velvet curtain Colette Harber, Funeral Celebrant